All parents have their own approach to child rearing, but psychologists have also identified distinctive parenting styles that can have an impact on child development. Today, psychologists suggest that there are four major parenting styles:
- Authoritarian parenting
- Authoritative parenting
- Permissive parenting
- Uninvolved/Neglectful parenting
As you might imagine, each of these parenting styles is marked by distinctive patterns of behavior and communication. Each style can leave a mark on how a child develops, so it is important for parents to understand how their styles might impact their children. By learning a little more about parenting styles, you can better understand your strengths and weaknesses as a parent.
Parenting Styles: Important a Things to Remember
As you read more about parenting styles, you might start analyzing your own relationships with both your parents and children. In some instances, you might even feel that your own parenting skills might be lacking.
However, it is important to remember that while the descriptions of these styles make them seem very discrete, there are many different factors that influence a child’s relationship with caregivers. The temperament of the parent, the child’s personality, situational variables, and even relationships with other family members all factor in to how parents interact with their children.
One single parenting style may seem “ideal,” but all kids are unique and what they need from their parents may differ depending upon their children’s needs. What may seem comforting to one child may seem stifling and oppressive to another.
Large-scale twin studies suggest that genetics and the environment play about a 50/50 role in shaping child development. How people parent makes up an important part of that environmental aspect of influence.
What Are Parenting Styles?
While developmental psychologists have long been interested in learning more about the effect that parent behavior has on children, pinpointing exact cause-and-effect relationships between these variables is not always easy. Researchers have discovered four distinctive patterns of parental behavior known as parenting styles that can have an impact on children’s health and development.
It was during the 1960s that psychologist Diana Baumrind performed research on pre-school age kids, utilizing parent interview, observations and naturalistic observation to study different dimensions of parenting. Using her observations, she concluded that parents differed on a few important factors, which she identified as:
- Disciplinary strategies
- Expectations of maturity and control
- Warmth and nurturing
- Communication styles
Based on her research, Baumrind described three different parenting styles. Later research by Maccoby and Martin led to the addition of another parenting style. Today, researchers recognize four distinct parenting styles.
The authoritarian parenting style is characterized by very high level of control with little communication and warmth. Authoritarian parents tend to seem militant, expecting a great deal of self-control and obedience from their children. They have strict rules, but offer little instruction or feedback to their children.
Signs you might be an authoritarian parent:
- Do you have a lot of rules that you expect your children to understand and follow without question or explanation?
- Are there harsh consequences if your children disobey or break your rules?
- Do you rarely express warmth or affection for your child?
- Do you believe that children should be seen and not heard?
- Do you rarely consider your child’s feelings?
If you can answer yes to some or most of these questions, then you might be an authoritarian parent.
The bad news is that this style of parenting is often associated with lower self-esteem and a lack of self-control in children. Because kids never learn to set their own limits and receive very little feedback from their parents, they never develop the skills that they need to self-regulate.
The authoritative parenting style is characterized by high expectations of children, but unlike the authoritarian style, these parents provide a great deal of support and guidance for their children. Authoritative parents set rules, but they also explain these rules and set clear and fair expectations. When kids do make mistakes, parents offer consistent discipline but also make sure that their children know why they are in trouble and how they can avoid such trouble again in the future.
Signs that you might be an authoritative parent:
- Do you expect a lot of your kids but also provide the support they need to meet your expectations?
- Do you listen to your kids and offer guidance and assistance?
- Is having a positive relationship with your children important?
- Are you consistent about how you enforce the rules of your household?
If you can answer yes to some or most of these questions, then you probably have an authoritative parenting style.
The good news is that the authoritative parenting style is typically identified as the best approach to parenting. Kids who grow up with authoritative parents tend to be more self-regulated and independent as they grow older. Authoritative parents also tend to raise happier and more successful children.
Why is authoritative parenting superior to other styles? Because these parents have high, but reasonable expectations of their kids while also providing the support and communication kids need to be successful. Kids are able to see that their parents’ rules are fair, and over time, they internalize these standards. Children are then able to develop and internal sense of right and wrong as well as the self-regulation skills that they need to control their behavior.
The permissive parenting style is characterized by low expectations but high levels of responsiveness. These parents let their children do whatever they please with little guidance. There are few rules to follow and no consequences when the few rules that do exist are broken. Permissive parents are, however, very warm and loving. Their kids may feel that their parents are more of good friends rather than parental figures.
Signs that you might be a permissive parent:
- Are there few, if any, rules you expect your kids to follow?
- Do you feel more like your child’s friend than his or her parent?
- When you do set rules, you don’t follow through and enforce any consequences?
- Do you feel like it’s better for your kid to learn from experience rather than offering any guidance or advice?
If you can answer yes to some or all of these questions, then the chances are good that you are a permissive parent.
The negative news is that this style tends to result in children who have little motivation and self-control. Kids raised by permissive parents tend to have lower self-esteem, struggle academically, and experience more behavioral problems. These kids also tend to struggle with authority and report feeling less happy than their peers.
Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is characterized by both low expectations and low responsiveness. In some cases, these parents are simply unconcerned with their kids, yet still provide for their most basic needs. In extreme cases, these parents may be outright neglectful, ignoring even the simplest needs that their children may have.
Signs of uninvolved or neglectful parenting:
- Do you rarely see your child?
- Do you frequently not know where your child is or who he is with?
- Do you never ask your child about how their life is going?
- Do you ever forget to feed, bathe, or otherwise care for your child?
If you have answers yes to any of these questions, then you may be in danger of being an uninvolved or neglectful parent.
Unfortunately, kids raised by such parents may not fare well in life. Kids raised by such parents tend to do poorly in all life domains, including socially, academically, and emotionally.
Some More to Consider About Parenting Styles
What you might immediately notice as you read these descriptions is that you might not always fit perfectly into one style. Maybe sometimes you are more authoritative, but in other situations you might be more permissive or authoritarian. This is perfectly normal and quite common.
You might also recognize that you might tend to exhibit more of one style while your spouse exhibits another. In such situations, it pays to consider how each of you respond to your children and work on developing a consistent approach to parenting and discipline.
While you might naturally tend toward a different style, making a conscious approach to be a more authoritative parent can pay off. Your children will then be better able to reap the benefits that come from taking a more authoritative approach to parenting.
Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95.
Benson, JB, Marshall, MH. (2009). Social and Emotional Development in Infancy and Early Childhood. Oxford: Academic Press.
Matejevic M, Todorovic J, Jovanovic AD. (2014). Patterns of Family Functioning and Dimensions of Parenting Style. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences. 141, 431-437.