Emotional Intelligence: What You Should Know

A smiley face depicting emotional intelligence
(Last Updated On: December 13, 2019)

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand, and manage emotions. This involves not just understanding your own emotions, but also understanding the emotions of other people. Emotional intelligence has been described as both a personality trait and an ability.

Let’s take a closer look at emotional intelligence and the impact it may have in your life.

What Is It?

The concept of emotional intelligence was first introduced by researcher John D. Mayer and Peter Solovey in two articles published in 1990. They define emotional intelligence as the ability to reason about emotions and for emotions to influence thought.

In their influential 1990 article, they described emotional intelligence as “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and other’s feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.”

Through further research, they later modified their refined their definition of emotional intelligence, describing it as “the ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotions, and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth.”

They went on to propose the model that suggested they were for key factors and emotional intelligence. These factors are emotional perception, emotional understanding, emotional management, and emotional reasoning.

What It Involves

In order to better understand emotional intelligence, it helps to break it down by looking at the different factors that Meyer and Solovey identified. They identified four different levels of emotional intelligence:

  • Emotional perception
  • Emotional assimilation
  • Emotional understanding
  • Emotional management

Emotional Perception

In order to be emotionally intelligent, you must first be able to recognize different emotions, both in yourself and in others. There are many different ways to see emotions, including facial expressions, verbal responses, and nonverbal signals.

Emotional Assimilation

Once you have perceived an emotion, the next step involves reasoning with emotions. Emotions can help us determine what we need to pay attention to or what might be important in the world around us. Reasoning with emotions allows us to figure out what we need to give priority to as we interact with others and with our environment.

Emotional Understanding

Emotional intelligence also involves understanding emotions. It’s not enough to recognize an emotion and pay attention to it – you have to also figure out what it might mean. Is someone angry because they are upset about something you’ve done, or are they just having a bad day? People who possess a great deal of emotional intelligence are able to look at emotional reactions and figure out what might be causing them.

Emotional Management

Finally, being able to manage emotions is a critical part of being emotionally intelligent. People with high emotional intelligence are able to regulate their own emotions and respond appropriately in the moment. They are also good at managing emotional situations and responding to the emotional reactions of other people.

Key Emotional Compentencies

Psychologist and author Daniel Goleman also identified a number of different emotional competencies. 

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness involves the ability to understand your own emotions. It encompasses recognizing your own feelings as well as understanding how your moods and actions might affect other people as well. People who are self-aware monitor their feelings and are able to recognize and identify how they feel in a situation. They are also aware of how other people respond and feel about them.

Social Skills

People who are emotionally intelligent interact well with others because they are so adept at understanding, managing, and expressing emotions. They think about how other people feel, know how people might react, and use that information to guide their own behavior and reactions.

Self Regulation

Emotional intelligence involves also being able to manage your emotions. Regulating emotions isn’t about tamping down and hiding what you really feel; it’s about expressing emotions in ways that are healthy and acceptable. This ability often involves being able to remain calm in the face of high emotion. It also involves being conscientious of other people’s feelings as well.

Motivation

People who are high in emotional intelligence also tend to possess what is known as intrinsic motivation. This type of motivation involves pursuing things for things beyond external rewards. Instead, people do things that fulfill their own inner goals and needs. They look for ways to improve themselves and expand their experiences and knowledge of the world.

Empathy

Empathy involves the ability to put yourself in someone else’s position and feel compassion and understanding for what they are experiencing. This ability means that you can imagine how you would feel if you were in another person’s place. This ability can influence how you respond to others who might be experiencing difficult emotions. For example, you might look for ways to cheer someone up or calm them down.

Examples of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence can play an important role in many aspects of your life, from your relationships with loved ones to your interactions in the workplace.

Understanding why you feel the way you do. Emotions are not always easy to recognize and understand, but being more aware of the role that feelings play can often help. Emotional intelligence allows people to get a clearer picture of the things they are feeling and get to the root of what’s causing those emotions.

Making decisions. Sometimes we make decisions based on what we think is simply logic without really considering the important role that emotions can play. By thinking about emotions, however, you can often give more consideration to how a decision might affect you and others.

Resolving conflicts. Having strong emotional intelligence allows people to respond better to conflict. Rather than getting carried away by strong emotions and responding in the heat of the moment, people can step back and try to empathize and understand another person’s point of view. 

Signs of low emotional intelligence:

  • Getting in lots of arguments with other people
  • Emotional outbursts
  • Not listening to what others have to say
  • Blaming other people; never taking person responsibility
  • Poor social relationships

Signs of high emotional intelligence:

  • Thinking about how other people feel
  • Being  assertive when communicating with others
  • Being highly self-aware
  • Listing to others and asking questions
  • Sharing feelings with others

Measuring Emotional Intelligence

There are a few different tests that are often used in research settings to assess emotional competencies. These include:

  • The Bar-On Emotional Quotient Inventory (EI-Q): This self-report test uses Likert type items that assess competencies in a range of areas including decision-making, stress-management, self-expression, interpersonal relationships, and self-perception.
  • The Situational Test of Emotional Understanding (STEU) and Situational Test of Emotion Management (STEM): These tests are designed to measure EI as a skill. The STEU measures a person’s understanding of their own and others’ emotions. The STEM measures how well people are able to manage their emotions. 
  • Emotional and Social Competency Inventory (ESCI): Developed by Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis, the ESCI is designed to assess 12 different emotional competencies in four ability areas.

The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations offers evaluations of some of the frequently used measures of EI as well as information about which assessments are best for different uses.

Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Some people tend to come by these emotional skills much more naturally, which may be influenced by factors such as genetics, overall temperament, and upbringing. However, there are things that you can do to improve your own emotional skills. 

One study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology found that emotional intelligence training was effective in increasing emotional competencies when taught either online, in a classroom, or through coaching. 

So what are some strategies you might use to boost your own emotional intelligence?

Pay attention to your emotions. Becoming more self-aware is one of the first steps toward building strong emotional abilities. When you are feeling an emotion, work on identifying what that emotion is and consider exactly what’s causing it.

Empathize more. Being able to understand how other people might be feeling is critical for strong emotional awareness. Empathy allows you to respond better in social situations. Spending time actively thinking about what other people might be feeling can help you hone these empathizing abilities.

Watch your stress. Consider the ways that you respond to stressful or difficult situations. Understanding your tendencies can help you keep your emotions in check during stressful moments.

Pause before you react. Being able to regulate your emotions is critical. Before you have an emotional response, take a moment to step back and think about your feelings and actions. Work on responding in ways that are adaptive and appropriate.

Consider how your emotions affect others. Your emotional reactions don’t just influence your behavior; they also have an impact on the people around you. Try to respond in ways that enhance your relationships and take responsibility for your actions. 

The Bottom Line:

Emotional intelligence is an important ability that can have an effect on your well-being, your success, and your relationships. While some people may seem to simply be better at understanding and working with emotions, it is also a skill that you can develop with practice. 

Sources:

Gilar-Corbí R, Pozo-Rico T, Sánchez B, Castejón JL. Can Emotional Competence Be Taught in Higher Education? A Randomized Experimental Study of an Emotional Intelligence Training Program Using a Multimethodological Approach. Front Psychol. 2018;9:1039. Published 2018 Jun 27. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01039

Salovey P, Mayer JD. Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition and Personality. 1990;9(3):185-211. doi:10.2190/DUGG-P24E-52WK-6CDG

Mayer J. D., Salovey P. What is emotional intelligence?. In Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence: Educational Implications eds Salovey P., Sluyter D. J., editors. New York, NY;Basic Books: 3–31.1997.